


mixed signals

by ButterflyMaven



Series: let's get it on [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Heavy Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, M/M, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Relationship, Rejection, Romance, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 22:58:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16293476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyMaven/pseuds/ButterflyMaven
Summary: when steve finally makes his move on tony after years of pining away, tony reciprocates ... only to freak out right after their first kiss





	mixed signals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elsanoelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsanoelle/gifts).
  * Inspired by [i'd climb every mountain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14835975) by [elsanoelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsanoelle/pseuds/elsanoelle). 



> This is a gift to the talented elsanoelle whose Music series has been etched in my brain from the getgo. This is a different take to the first kiss scene in Part 1. 
> 
> Hope you like this one els! x

 

 

* * *

 

 

The kiss broke off suddenly.

"I'm sorry, I can't," Tony croaks, pushing Steve into the couch before getting up and turning his back against the super soldier.

Steve's breaths were still short, his heart thumping its way into his ears. His chiseled jaw was still aching from the kiss that felt like it had gone for hours. He watches as Tony steps further away, shaking his head and catching his own breath as though he had just completed a sprint.

What had happened was trickling into Steve's head, it came in a misty blur that slowly began to show its form; one second they were casually discussing tomorrow's mission while popping dumplings into their mouths, the next he was leaning into a kiss and pressing Tony against the dining table, the man he had been in love with for the past aching months. When Tony wrapped his hands around Steve's shoulders and ran his fingers through Steve's hair to push deeper into the kiss, Steve lost all his inhibitions. 

A cold chill runs down the Captain's spine now, as he watches Tony's body language that screams regret. A mistake.

_He doesn't feel the same way._

_Oh God._

"Tony, don't -"

"I have to go." 

But this was Tony's suite. If he felt like he needed to bolt from his own private quarters to get away from Steve, clearly something was deadly wrong. The words 'lines crossed', 'ruined friendship' and 'assault' quickly found its way into Steve's head and made itself at home. 

Steve went into panic mode.

He leaps and grabs Tony by the elbow to stop the smaller man, unintentionally exerting too much force that it jerks the billionaire backwards. Steve instantly lets go of his grip, horrified that he may have hurt his friend, making everything worse. They look at each other, and all Steve could see in Tony's watery eyes was discomfort. He then notices the kiss-swollen lips that he had been devouring just moments ago. 

Nothing makes sense. 

The three purpling blotches on Tony's skin that trail from his jawline down to his collarbone makes everything even more confusing. Steve's throat collapses to the sight, evidence of him marking Tony that way. He was sure he had very similar marks on the same spots on his body, but the serum would have taken cared of it in an hour. There was no time to think about that now; for once in his life he followed his heart instead of his head, and he's paying the price by having his best friend looking torn and miserable. 

_I did this._

"Tony, please, don't walk away," Steve pleads, choking on his own words. "Please talk to me."

But Tony was not ready to talk.

"Tell me what I can do," Steve presses as gently as he can, desperate to keep his voice from shaking.

The brunette backs away slowly, creating a void between them. Tony had his eyes averted from Steve's. He rubs his mouth, licking his lips, looking like he was trying to get rid of the taste. He shakes his head again, and with each movement Steve's heart shatters little by little. 

"I can't do this, Steve," he finally says. It came out as a whisper.

Steve swallows hard.

"It's alright. We don't have to ever talk-"

"You don't understand! We _can't_ be doing this!"

Steve sighs, his shoulders dropping. It goes without saying that his heart was on the floor. "What do you want me to do, Tony? I'll do it," he says in the saddest voice he's ever heard come out of him. "You don't want me around you? I'll keep a distance. I know it'll be awkward but we can be purely professional."

"Why is this so easy for you?" Tony asks accusingly, his voice booming across the room.

Steve looks at him like he's stupid. Finally making a move on Tony was the hardest thing he had to convince himself to do. Years of pining, months of planning and several failed attempts of executing said plan later, he finally thought he had the answers to the mystery that he was trying to solve. His happiness was short-lived because clearly after a heavy make-out session that involved Tony clawing at his shirt and ripping off the buttons all the way down in a desperate attempt to get skin on skin, and Tony losing his own t-shirt in the process, Tony was having a drastic change of mind and was throwing a fit at what he had just voluntarily participated in.

It felt like a giant slap on Steve's face. 

It was either he had been misreading Tony all along, or Tony was having one of his self-loathing moments. Steve has learned so much about Tony from just observing him for months now and he quickly comforted himself from feeling the sting of Tony's words. 

"You're out of your mind if you think any of this is easy for me," Steve replies coldly.

"Seems simple enough for you to walk right up here and kiss me?"

Steve couldn't help but frown, feeling a little insulted. "That's unfair. Look, Tony, if you're having a change of heart after all that, I'll respect your decision. I'll back off. But forgive me if I got carried away from the way you were ripping my shirt off." Steve glances down at himself; his belt buckle was unlatched and his zipper was pulled all the way down. He purposely made a show of correcting his pants, before meeting Tony's eye again. Just to emphasise his point.

Tony clasps his hands behind his head and starts to pace, puffing air out of his mouth in frustration. Steve watches the man calculate in his head on his next move. Steve on the other hand had made up his mind. He was bleeding from the inside, and like Tony, he might need some space and get away as well. He slowly reaches out of Tony's t-shirt on the ground that was laying next to his feet (even his shoes had been kicked off) and he balls it up before tossing it to the man. Tony catches the shirt with one hand.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. If you don't feel the same way, we don't have to ever do this again. If you need me to give you space-"

"And what _way_ is that? Hmm? What is this, Cap? Do you like me? Is this just physical? Because two days ago you nearly benched me from tomorrow's mission citing "high risk of insubordination". That was after a yelling match between us and I nearly gave myself an aneurism just trying to get through to you. You can't stand me, I can't stand you. Now we're sucking face."

Steve chewed his lip to remain calm. "You invited me up here, Tony."

"TO HAVE DINNER. I wanted to say I was sorry!"

"Oh horse shit, Tony!"

"You **hate** me. You can't possibly want something from me that isn't a form of an apology. Regardless of the fact that - wait."

"I like you just fine," Steve murmurs to himself, getting ready to leave, knowing full well that Tony wouldn't be able to hear him.

"- Is it sex? It's sex isn't it. Are you that lonely? Do you even like _men_?" Tony asks, his questions sharp as daggers. It was quite unforgivingly brutal.

"That is not what this is about, Stark." Steve's face began to heat up. Is Tony really going to ask him to spell his feelings out? It didnt make sense to Steve either when he first came to terms with his feelings. Falling in love with someone who infuriates him on a daily basis made him feel like a ten year old boy trying to get a rise from a playground crush. Except that he wasn't pelting mud balls into the neighbour's daughter's hair to get her attention.

He had fallen in love with a man, from the future, who was by far the most complex of persons he was ever going to meet in his new life, and said man was now staring at him like he had just taken the mickey out of him.

"I think you're hot, Steve," Tony says. The strain in his has wavered, the tension in his neck mellowed. "So _I am_ attracted to you at minimal. Who wouldn't be? Jesus. But if you're thinking about a _relationship_ \- with me- I'm going to have to stop you right here. You don't want to go down that path, buddy, trust me. It never ends well. For anyone."

As much as Steve tried to convince himself that Tony on was just going on defence mode, that he was clamming up due to his own insecurities, his inner demons whispering that he's never good enough for anyone, Steve felt the cut. It was deep and it drew blood.

"I can make my own decisions, Tony. I'll give you a moment, you're clearly upset. Again, I'm sorry, I never meant to cause you any discomfort," Steve says, picking up his shoes. He did his best and tugged his shirt together as narrow as he could to hide his broad naked chest, praying that he doesn't bump into the others on his way back to his apartment. The leader of earth's mightiest heroes was going to take down HYDRA tomorrow, but right now he just wants to curl up in his bed and cry himself to sleep.

He makes a line for the elevator and presses down.

"Cap, wait." 

Steve remains unmoved, his back to Tony. The elevator will reach the penthouse any moment, so Steve prays that Tony says what he wants to say before the moment is lost. 

"You didn't read me wrong. I'm just -"

 _Ding!_ The metal doors slowly slides open. 

Steve walks into the carriage, hesitates for a moment before he allows himself to turn and face Tony, exposing the tears that had welled in his eyes and found a path down his face. 

"Christ," Tony says, his voice softening. "Please - just - come back here. Don't leave like that."

The super soldier took his turn to shake his head, a heavy tear drop escaping from his long, blonde lashes. He tries his best to smile, and it comes out as a smirk. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tony. Good night."

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so whaddya think? should i go on? it's my first fic so thoughts and kudos are really appreciated x


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